How are you affected?
Most of us, at some point in our journey through life, experience personal conflict – some more often, and more intense than others. Some people seem to be able to breeze through life, unaffected by the conflicts that surround them, others are continually getting bogged down in.
How to move beyond personal conflict ? Can you imagine a world without conflict? Do you know what personal conflict is doing to your health? physical, emotional or mental?
Personal conflict arises because one or more people hold onto different points of view. These points of view may have been acquired in childhood and were further strengthened as the child believed those points of view to be ‘right.’ Many of these points of view were established without the conscious awareness of the individual, they were programmed into the subconscious by parents, siblings, peers and / or environmental conditions.
Personal conflict arises when two opposing points of view come into contact with each other, and neither party is either aware, or able, to back down. Often, this personal conflict arises so quickly that neither party were aware this was happening. Once this personal conflict enters the scene then our protagonists are caught, trying to defend their point of view. Not only does each person try to defend their point of view, but now they are lost in a strong emotional feeling, which most people find very uncomfortable.
The more we dig our heels in the more we are saying, subconsciously, to the other person, your point of view is invalid. This only goes to make the other person feel less secure as the chemicals that are responsible for the feelings arising in their body intensify, creating a very unpleasant feeling in the body, that then tends to overwhelm the people involved and rational communication is impossible.
is inherent in all of us, we all have shadow aspects of our personality (C.G. Jung) parts of ourselves that we have yet to embrace, to bring into the light of day.
If you hold onto any point of view, conscious or not, then conflict is inevitable. You may try to suppress this personal conflict and the associated feelings, but because, for the most part, this is something that you are not totally conscious of, it will continue to impact upon your life until it is brought into awareness. Through ‘Clearing’ those old painful feelings can be encouraged into the daylight where they can be accepted and embraced. This serves to reduce the intensity of any old emotion associated with those memories, with that conditioning.
Personal conflict becomes a thing of the past as your shadow is embraced. It is possible, as we begin to pay more notice to subtle changes in the chemistry of the body, to stop feeding those old, uncomfortable feelings.
When this happens any other person involved will not feel as though they are under attack, and hence no need to defend themselves. This reduces the amount of toxic chemicals produced in their body, making them feel safer, this is in turn reflects back onto you and your body produces less of these unpleasant chemicals, opening the way for meaningful, open dialogue.
read about the Buddhist practice of Tonglen, see how it can help you understand more about the reasons personal conflict arises.
Eric’s latest book ‘First Aid – A Guide for Greater Health and Happiness’ offers exercises that you can do at home to help reduce the amount of conflict in your life.
Workshops are a great place to start and learn all about ‘Clearing’ a wonderful tool for each and everyone of us as we navigate through troubled times.
Skype consultations with Eric will reduce the amount of stress that has built up in your body, helping you see more clearly where you are going and how you want to get there.
Watch the video, get a feel for these teachings, see if they are for you.