#89 August ’15
I will be okay when….
Many suffer from the perception that once they have achieved a certain goal then all will be well. Marriage! Children! Perfect Job! New Car! Better relationship! More Money! Better Health! Enlightenment! New House! Greater Safety!
The list can be endless. Until that goal is reached – assuming it is ever reached – when either things don’t go as planned / expected or another goal arises. Most likely the goal is never truly attained for reaching it may satisfy the outer longing but does nothing to satisfy the inner cry for help out of which the desire for ‘more’ arose.
We will, for the most part, find ourselves in a constant struggle, trying to achieve, attain, realise a particular goal. It may even be peace of mind, a content heart, something really simple which of course is not simple once you try to find it. All sorts of objections, blocks, sabotage arise along the way seemingly making our journey so difficult.
There will always be the social expectations, the pressure put upon us by those around us, who, in their turn, have had pressure put upon them. Few people stop to consider where and why we experience such pressure, for surely this pressure has not created any real peace or happiness. Often the pursuit of ‘more’ is just a distraction, a sense that we must have ‘this’ or ‘that’ in order to be what? Accepted? Valued? Justified?
I spoke of this in last months newsletter, the concept of polarisation. While we remain heavily polarised and locked into personal values – which ultimately mean very little – the simple fact that we are polarised is enough to keep the machine of desire moving forward. Yet very little answers the inner call for help. We may temporarily side step the issue by becoming more involved in the pursuit of whatever, but sooner or later we will come face to face with the real issue. The fact that we have been chasing empty dreams without realising the dreamer has been deluded.
Because of the nature of the mind that led to this realisation the mind is still stuck in process. It needs to find an answer to this new dilemma. So now we look for spiritual answers through the various techniques available to us. And off we go again, another path, this one has to be better than the last because it is ‘spiritual.’
Pretty soon we discover that nothing has changed, we are still driven by old conditioned responses, still seeking the answer outside of the self, still creating, moment by moment, yet another reality from within which we spend time, effort / money to discover the solution, the answer. If the searching mind has not been stilled then it will look for another path, another modality to, essentially, distract you from the real solution.
The idea that there are indeed ‘wounds’ that need to be ‘healed’ is a big part of the problem.. That there is somewhere to go, to be, to do, while driven by the restless mind is the very problem we try so hard to overcome.
But surely, the idea that there is a problem is a state of mind, a perception a belief pattern, nothing more, nothing less. The idea that we need to do this, or that, to achieve this, to own that, are all, in themselves, belief patterns. All of which arise from a restless, insecure, perception of the self.
A perception which is reinforced, on a daily basis, by those around us, by the media, both corporate and social. We cannot listen or watch media of any sort and be unaffected. In workshops we have seen how one word creates a major string of responses / reactions in the individual, imagine what whole strings of words, graphic images, sound bites, what insecurity they can, and do, create.
We can try to come to terms with or deny the pressure we are subject to on a moment by moment basis, or, we can simply stop giving energy to it. The initial idea of not energising a point of view will, at first, seem like madness, all sorts of arguments will arise to justify your point of view, all based in insecurity.
Yet, as you practice disengaging from all the noise, all the distraction, so the polarised state reduces, so the need to defend reduces, so the need to be right reduces. So all of the ‘external’ noise that maintained a conflicted state falls away.
This cannot make any sense whatsoever to someone lost in a polarised state. It is only by reaching the understanding that nothing that arises from conflict will produce peace can we begin to accept responsibility for our actions and begin the process of finding that peace, within.
Yet even that is a misleading statement, one that itself arises out of the misconception that there is still something to do.
Once we truly accept that which is, then all else falls away. There is no ‘peeling of the onion’ involved, no steps to take, nothing to do other than accept that which is. Therein lies the challenge of course, for one to accept that which is one must be without insecurity or conflict.
Enjoy the life you have, accept it all with equanimity, it is only the initial stages of this ‘journey’ that appear to be a problem. This paradox can only remain so while there appears to be subject / object, until that falls away, ‘you’ will still need to be somewhere, other than here, to be at peace.
The moment you become aware is the moment of choice.
— Eric Dowsett